Rainbow's End

Clean Up Day...at Knoxville folks--I don't mean my weekly bath

Are you guys getting to go to clean up day?

We are not getting to go this year for several reasons- Mike's school and gas prices, namely. I'll miss going.

The thing I will miss the most is seeing if that" bench will hold us both." This is a quote from Dana last year. Do you remember that, Dana? mhmm. Dana is a person that is my friend and that's what friends do is they call you once a year and they send you a fruitcake at Christmas and they tell you that your rear view is like the north end of a south bound dump truck.

Dana is a much better friend than the ABOVE described friend though, because she doesn't send me fruitcake at Christmas. Actually, she doesn't call me once a year, nor has she ever insulted my weight, but anyway...

NOW Sister REBA on the other hand will just tell you exactly the situation of my excess poundage. Without blinking. Without pause. Without remor...well she might feel a little bad afterward. *snicker*

Back to the Knoxville situation, we'll have to save our money for the gas up to Campmeeting. As you probably know, unless you took your grandmother and ran off to BoraBara to live in the deep jungle with the wild snakes and no porta potties, gas is high.

This would not be such a problem if we had NORMAL vehicles, but NO. We had to buy the only 2 gas guzzlers on the planet.

I can hear you now. "No, NO, I am the one with the 26 ton gas guzzler! How can that little blue gumball you drive possibly use as much gas as MY car!?"

When I put a full tank of gas in the vehicles, late in the night I hear scrabbling sounds coming from my driveway. When I open the front door and stick my head out the sounds always stop and everything SEEMS normal.

One night I snuck around the side of the house to catch whatever it was and I heard:

Blue Gumball Car: Watch! Watch ME! GUZZLE GUZZLE GUZZLE!

(Tinny sound of a radio playing the Rolling Stones in the background)

Red Truck: Harr! You call that something? Sit back and learn! GUZZLEGUZZLEGUZZLEGUZZLEBUUUURRRRPPP!

I gasped. They are Guzzleing my gas. Now I know why our gas bill is approximately 2,346,789.03 every two weeks!

"NOOOOOO!" I cried, running out in the driveway to stop them.

Bad mistake.

They spent the rest of the night playing a party game called "BUMP-OW" where you take some one and take turns driving back and forth over their body. The only rules are that all four tires have to make contact with flesh.

Blue Gumball Car: "WHEEE! This is FUN!"

Red Truck: "HARR! You think this is fun--holler for her husband to come out! I'll show you FUN!"

So you see why we can not go to clean up day. You guys have fun. *sniff*

posted by Just Me @ 5:26 AM